1. When he withdraws into his cave, don't get hurt and make him feel guilty.
2. When he comes back from his cave, welcome him, don't punish or reject him.
3. Share your negative feelings without blaming/rejecting/disapproving of him.
4. When he makes a mistake, don't say "I told you so," offer advice or punish him.
5. When you disapprove of him, go into another room, center yourself and then come back with a more centered and loving heart.
6. On special occasions, overlook  his mistakes that normally upset you.
7. When he's driving or parking, don't give advice; appreciate his getting there.
8. When he gets lost while driving, don't make a big deal of it or see the good in the situation ("Look at that great sunset").
9. When he forgets to pick up something, say "It's OK. Would you please do it the next time you're out?"
10. When he forgets to pick up something again, say with trusting patience and persistence, "It's OK. Would you still get it?"
11. Be tactful in expressing dislike of a restaurant, movie, etc. that he picked out.
12. When you've hurt him, apologize and give him the love he needs.
13. When he apologize for a mistake, accept it with forgiveness ( the bigger the mistake, the more points he'll give you).
14. Ask for his support rather than dwelling on what he's done wrong.
15. Ask for his support without being demanding even though he thinks the score's even or he's given more.
16. When you ask for his support and he says no, don't feel hurt and don't rejector disapprove of him: trust that he would if he could.
17. When he ask you to do something and you say yes, stay in a good mood.
18. When he ask you to do something and you say no, don't give a list of reasons why you can't do it.
19. When he wants to make up after a fight and does little things for you, start appreciating him again.
20. Be hapy to see him when he gets home.
21. Really enjoy having sex with him.
    

1. Treat her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship.
2. Everyday: give her hugs and say "I love you" (not necessarily at the same time).
3. Notice how she's feeling and comment on it: "You look happy/tired today."
4. Compliment her on her appearance and on her cooking.
5. Verbally say "thank you" when she does things for you.
6. Laugh at her jokes; take her side when she's upset with someone.
7. Make her more important than the children; let the kids see her getting you best attention.
8. Give her 20 minutes of quality attention. Do nothing else during this time: turn off the TV/etc., give her full attention with eye contact.
9. Listen to her and ask question; empathize, don't solve problems.
10. Be patient when she's sharing; don't look at your watch or answer the phone.
11. Ask her specific questions about her day that show you're aware of what she was planning to do ("How did your doctor's appointment go?").
12. When she asks for support, say yes or no without making her wrong for asking.
    
13. When she's upset, say (genuinely) "I'm sorry you feel hurt" and then be quiet; don't offer solutions or reasons why her hurt is not your fault.
14. Negotiate in a way that shows you want both of you to get what you want.
15. Read out loud or earmark things in the newspaper that would interest her.
16. Write out neatly any messages you take to her.
17. Let her see that you carry a picture of her in your wallet and update it.
18. Write a note on special occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries.
19. Buy her little presents (chocolates/perfume); take short romantic getaways.
20. When you need to pull away, say you'll be back or you need time to think.
21. When you come back, talk about what was bothering you in a non-blaming way.
22. Open the door for her; offer to carry groceries, boxes, luggage, etc.
23. Don't treat her as if she's your maid: pick up after yourself (clothes, etc.), clean the bathroom, make the bed, take the trash out.
24. Offer to fix something around the house.
25. When she's tired, busy or upset, ask what she has to do and offer to do some of it ( make dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, etc.)
26. Let her know when you're planning to leave, take a nap or go into your cave.
27. Kiss her and say goodbye when you leave.
28. When going out or down/upstairs, ask if there's anything you can pick up for her - and do it.
29. Call from work to ask how she is, share something, or say "I love you."
30. When out of town, call to leave your number and let her know you arrived ok.
31. When you're going to be late, call her and let her know.
32. On returning home, give her a hug and tell her you missed her.
33. Make suggestions about where to go out; don't always make her responsible for deciding.
    
34. Be understanding when she's late or decides to change her outfit.
35. When going out, study the directions so she's not responsible for navigating.
36. Drive slowly and safely, respecting her preferences (she's sitting powerless in the car).
37. Pay more attention to her than to others in public; display affection.
38. Cuddle and be affectionate sometimes without being sexual.
39. Offer to give her a back/neck/foot massage.
40. Wash and shave before sex; put on an aftershave if she likes that.
41. Get ready to go to sleep together and get in bed at the same time.
42. Don't flick the remote to different channels when she's watching TV.
43. Leave the toilet seat down.
    
    

sighh...... bye